4. I Forgive Them for Taking my Tony...

[KarenESP]

After the posts
Texana, finding your path,
Texana, reconciling senseless loss,
A child shall lead them, thanks to the spiritual masters among us...

A repressed memory has been released. I knew of it, but had it buried very deep.

~~still in progress~~

Nevamar

Forever Present and Never More...

[KarenESP]

Don't know why it comes to me now to finish it.. but here goes.. I guess after 20 years... it's still hard.

Tony drowned, mysteriously swimming across a river with friends.. Tony was only nine feet from a pier, 20 feet from land, but yet mysteriously went under and drowned... so close but yet not close enough.

Many people jumped in from the beach to search for him in the muddy waters but didn't find him 'till it was too late.

But thats not where the blame is.

Tony worked at a company in Odenton Maryland called Nevamar... (always reminded me of Nevermore.. like the Edgar Allen Poe poem, the Raven)...

Anywho.. I found out a few years later from a secretary that this factory had occassions of poisen air, in which everyone, including the office staff, would get instantly sick and the whole plant would have to shut down for a day or two until they got it straightened out.

Apparently, Tony, 19 years old and totally in top physical shape, was supposed to go in that day for an EKG... there was something going on with his heart. There had been something wrong with his health for a while and the next step was this EKG.

Tony didn't go for his EKG that day, he instead went swimming with friends (including my ex-husband), and drowned.

But what I have come to understand over time is that his health was damaged by the serious problems within the plant where he was working.. that he was poisened.. and thats why the freak drowning occurred in the first place... because he had been poisened at work and it had led to the drowning, by literally damaging his organs.

When I learned of this information from this office worker in Nevamar.. I wanted to go straight to Tony's mom and tell her.. the office worker warned me against it... she said that Tony's stepfather, (Tony's mom's hubby) made big bucks at this company as a (mid/high) level manager and was probably in on covering it all up.

I never said anything to his mother.

It has taken me a while to say that I can forgive these people... because, they knew not what they did.. to Tony, or any others who died because of that poisenous plant. It's been closed for years, now.

Sincerely, Karen

[Texana]

Karen, I'd love to give you a hug right now. You are precious. Tony knows that. He said he hugs you. Hugs his Mom, too.

[Texana]

I hear the Beatles singing 'Let it Be' as a benediction from Tony and solace for you.

[robinmom]

karen im sorry for ur loss.....that must have been terrible for u to go through plus he was so young....it a shame alot of people have to go through this cause factory or businesses just dont care to take better care of poisonus material...it a sensless waiste of good people....i hope this company had fixed its (problem) or has since shut down...((hugs))

[KarenESP]

for your kind words....

I love that song, Texana.. If I can just remember the words, they will come to me.. thanks to the both of you!

[Texana]

In times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom... Let it Be. Let it Be ..Let it Be.. Let it be.. Let it Be.. Speaking words of wisdom...Let it be

Paul McCartney's mother died when he was young and he wrote this song because sometimes he dreamed she came to him to comfort him. Her name was Mary.

[KarenESP]

You know what... thank you for that... "Let it Be.."

I was a fiesty young thing back then... it was about six years after Tony had died... I was on a field trip with my (older) son, and one of the other moms happened to be the office worker from Nevamar who filled me in on the whole scoop.

I've always wondered if I should have said anything.. but even with my young, indignant, kind of hyper outrage.. I still thought better of it.. it wouldn't have brought him back, what good what it have done his mom.. especially with hubby working there in management...??!!

So, I appreciate that message, I think you're one hell of a medium... I get songs frequently for people that give messages too...

Thanks again.

[KarenESP]

kind 'a teary eye'd.. in a good way...
sniff

[Texana]

Your devotion to Tony's memory is admirable. I hear songs a lot. I guess that can be mediumship? I can feel a deep affection this young man has and respect for you and love for his mother. The feeling is warm and peacful and he offers that feeling toward you.

[KarenESP]

Sometimes when Im doing a reading, a song just starts playing in my head... I pass it on to the read-ee.. as a dedication from the one in spirit....

wow.. Mother Mary.. I thought that was a Catholic thing, had no idea that was his 'actual' mother...

I did a reading the other day for someone who died, unexpectedly, at 40... the dedication came.. it was a Beatles song too - GOD... now I can't think of it.. RATS!!!

Ok... It's alright now... something like that, rats... still don't have it..

Oh well, it will come to me again and I'll edit my post...

At least the message appears to be that I used good judgement and intuition back then, and appropriately kept my mouth shut (for once!).
Heh heh!

[Texana]

Your posts today make me want to go watch Erin Bracovich again.

Haaa Haaa:D :cool:

[robinmom]

LOL, NOWE THAT WAS A GOODMOVIE

[AlisClan]

When I find myself in times of trouble
Mother Mary comes to me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.
And in my hour of darkness
She is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, Let it be
Whisper words of wisdom, let it be.

And when the broken hearted people
Living in the world agree,
There will be an answer, let it be.
For though they may be parted there is
Still a chance that they will see
There will be an answer, let it be.

Let it be, let it be, let it be, let it be, Yeah
There will be an answer, let it be

Theres my one OCD kicking in agian! I have the original Srg. Peppers Lonely Hearts Club Band album! Bought it off of ebay, its in good condition!

ob la di ob la da Life Goes On.., Old Rocky Racoon...... Some of the best songs that didnt get as popular.

Now somewhere in the black mountain hills of dakota
There lived a young boy named rocky raccoon
And one day his woman ran off with another guy
Hit young rocky in the eye rocky didn't like that
He said i'm gonna get that boy
So one day he walked into town
Booked himself a room in the local saloon.

Rocky raccoon checked into his room
Only to find gideon's bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy.
Her name was magil and she called herself lil
But everyone knew her as nancy.
Now she and her man who called himself dan

Were in the next room at the hoe down
Rocky burst in and grinning a grin
He said danny boy this is a showdown
But daniel was hot-he drew first and shot
And rocky collapsed in the corner.

Now the doctor came in stinking of gin
And proceeded to lie on the table
He said rocky you met your match
And rocky said, doc it's only a scratch
And i'll be better i'll be better doc as soon as i am able.

Now rocky raccoon he fell back in his room
Only to find gideon's bible
Gideon checked out and he left it no doubt
To help with good rocky's revival.


Desmond has a barrow in the market place
Molly is the singer in a band
Desmond says to Molly-girl I like your face
And Molly says this as she takes him by the hand.
Obladi oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on
Obladi Oblada life goes on bra
Lala how the life goes on.

Desmond takes a trolly to the jewellers store
Buys a twenty carat golden ring
Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door


And as he gives it to her she begins to sing.

In a couple of years they have built
A home sweet home
With a couple of kids running in the yard
Of Desmond and Molly Jones.

Happy ever after in the market place
Molly lets the children lend a hand
Desmond stays at home and does his pretty face
And in the evening she's a singer with the band.

And if you want some fun-take Obladi Oblada.

Ok Im done, I swear..... LOL

[robinmom]

i love that son can i use it for my forum as well

thank u for posting it

[KarenESP]

Thank you for that full set of lyrics, now my brain doesn't have to think so hard...

And .. "the black mountain hills of Dakota"
Wow! Does that bring back memories!! As a teen I would visit my Uncle's ranch in Nebraska and we would go on day trips to the Black Hills of South Dakota.

I was so entranced with the place, which now makes sense, as the Native Americans considered it highly sacred ground.

What a beautiful place if you ever get to go. I'll never forget coming up on Mt. Rushmore... every time I'd go again, it was still that awe inspiring feeling of seeing it for the first time!

Texana = Erin Brochovich (sp?).. When Jilly saw that movie, she told me I HAD to go see it because it reminded her of me... we'll Im still without my $1,000,000 check... but I suppose so are a lot of Erin B.'s all over the USA...

KEEP THE FAITH

Thank you all and Robin, you too...

You guys are so much fun~~:D :D :) ;)

[Texana]

You remind me of Erin Brocovich too.

[KarenESP]

Texana.. your avitar matches you so well, maybe I'll go back to my Pocohantis... (:
Or maybe Ill just get one of ERIN B.. har har har

[Texana]

Yeah, my avatar and I are getting along swimmingly. I've started thinking about going back to swimming a mile a day. I'm already eating a lot of fish...Har Har.

[KarenESP]

hee hee hee

Yea yea, rub it in... it's not even 5 degrees here today.:( :mad: :mad: :rolleyes: :D :cool:

[Idlewild]

I'm so sorry for your loss, Karen.

(((Hugs)))

A similar thing happened to a neighborhood across from my old college.

[KarenESP]

What happened in your town??